Monday, July 14, 2003
Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.
Read about the idea here.