Here's something new from the Department of Forwarded Mails
Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
• During lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
• Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
• Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
• Don't use any punctuation
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
• Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
• Sing along at the opera.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
• Put mosquito netting around your work area and make tropical sounds all day.
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
• Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
• Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the falling economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."