Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Ever had the feeling like you’re an incomplete puzzle and you don’t know where the pieces are, when they will be coming and where? I was asleep for many days, having grown callous and indifferent to the things that come my way. A timely long-distance phone call from my college best friend woke me up mid-afternoon. Bryan’s call was indeed a welcome surprise and one that I’m looking for in a long time. That after a long time I was able to voice out my questions and apprehensions. In a reversal of roles he was the counselor and me the one needing a listening ear. Do you know what your calling is? was the question that shook me the most. Do I really? That phone call managed to wake me up from a stupor, that in giving voice to the phantoms inside my head I was able to see what it was that held me in thrall for so long, I was able to see them for who they really are: attractive curlicues of fragile smoke. So fragile they haven’t got a prayer against the breath of wind that passed through and shoved them off to the side. That left me feeling like a puzzle and feeling like an unfinished puzzle is one of the crummiest feelings in the world. I took a bath and went out to get a quotation for the printing of the invite for December’s event from a batchmate who holds his graphic studio office two blocks away from our house. He had awesome ideas for a new website for all sorts of school alumni (something I first thought would be exclusive to our batch). I would be providing some illustrations for the flash animation and comic strips for the site. A couple more of pleasantries and discussions about potential projects left me optimistic enough about securing more work in the coming days.

I left his office after half an hour and went straight to Megamall. My mind was a blank my way there, I felt like I was just going through the motions of walking to a very familiar place. Upon arrival I immediately mapped out my journey to the end of the mall and back. I viewed some art exhibits at the fourth floor stimulating my mind with the imaginative expressions of these artists. I examined their works and wondered what it is that went through their mind when they were creating their works. I dropped by Powerbooks on my way down and looked at a couple of art books, advertising books, and graphic design books. I finally figured it out while listening to some soothing lounge music sampled from different artists it was all a lesson in beauty and passion. Hearts respond to strains of music, wake up to the smallest hint of art, and in bringing me to a quiet road full of paintings and photographs, graphic designs and music I heard His voice. Nothing’s too far or too hard for me, he says, where do you think I’ve been all this time? The fact of the matter is that I’ve been speaking to you all this time, you’re just too caught up with your problems to notice.

That’s when I realized I found what I’m looking for.

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