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Monday, January 12, 2004

It's been a long time since I last drew because I wanted to. These days I never really get to draw unless it's either work, because somebody commissioned me to do something, or because there's an upcoming exhibit and I have to be there. I used to draw for fun right before they told me that I draw too much. Mindless commentary done out of spite. I hated that comment and I still hate it now. But the arrowhead's still in there and you wouldn't believe how much it hurts everytime I remember it. It hurts so bad it blocks off any and all inspirations to draw. Eventually everything became mechanical. Something like the Tinman's problem in The Wizard of Oz. Originally, the story in the book told that he built his body of steel around his ax wounds brought about by a curse put upon him the Wicked Witch of the East. He enclosed and shielded everything till he forgot about his heart. In my case it's my heart for visual expression.

I'm already settled with the idea that only artists could appreciate the works of other artists. Well... mostly artists. I can't tell you enough the frustration of baring a part of you and not even getting a smidgen of reaction. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Some of us have already resigned to hiding this part of themselves from the world, anyway the common thread of thought is that if you're not making money in this lifetime then what good are you? Creatives are not seen as contributing something really worthwhile to society. I know what I'm talking about since we're hardly given any second thought by those closest to us as compared to those achievers in the "more popular" field of work. This isn't one of those self-pity posts that whine and dine on pathos. Not even! That's why I'm extremely thankful for sites like deviantART. Like I said before only artists know what's going on with other artists that's why it helps a great deal to bare your heart and soul to those who could take care of it the same way you'd take care of theirs.

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