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Friday, April 23, 2004

My friend and I had a long discussion over the phone sometime ago regarding some problems that spilled into the early morning. In the course of that discussion she asked me how I was doing holding up on my end. I said I'm doing okay except for the routine where I always get the short end of the stick in the dealings I thought was really big. That's when things turned around a 180°. Instead of me sitting on the chair with a notepad and pen on hand listening to her problems while she's there lying on the couch hugging a pillow, she had me switch places with her and had me sitting on the floor hugging a pillow and being on the defensive.

Well it's not that bad once you get the hang of it. People usually get on the defensive when they're being counseled and they get to hear stuff they'd normally drown out with strains of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" or "I Can't Hear You! La-la-la-la-la-la!" sung at the top of their lungs. At first I was in denial. It wasn't my fault I trusted them to be betrayed in the end. But my friend said that I should have at least seen a pattern forming after the nth time. She told me maybe God was trying to correct my attitude and unless I did He'd resign me to repeat the same pattern over and over until I get it. I agreed with that observation and I just kept quiet, listening to her thoughts and opinions. That is until she said that "promises ARE made to be broken." I couldn't believe my ears. Did she really say that? She explained that that's how the world operates and I should just go with the flow. While I do agree that it's a popular notion in society, I begged to differ on the matter that I should resign myself to it. That line promises are made to be broken is one of the most harebrained statement I've ever heard. Promises are not made to be broken no matter what people say and I will not resign myself to accepting that. Especially if these came from those I treat as family. They should know better than to break their promises. They know they should after all they've been exposed to a higher standard! She told me that man cannot be like God who can keep promises no matter how many He makes. I told her then they shouldn't make promises they don't intend to keep. What happened to trustworthiness? What happened to informing the other in advance that they couldn't keep what they promised. Technology has made it possible for us not to keep in communication. We don't have any excuse to break promises, if at all we shouldn't make promises in the first place. Our tendency to break them has become so common, the very word itself has lost all meaning. In the end I lowered my expectations and forgave those who broke their promises. While I still somewhat disagree with her observation on this matter, I told her I'll curb my temper and season my expectations with the same grace that has been given to me. We are, after all, still subject to failings.

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