Thursday, May 27, 2004
Some things are quite surreal these past hours. It started earlier in the wee hours of the morning when a friend of mine sent me a text message informing me that a churchmate of mine who I've been crushing on for more than two years and who I thought would be the one I would be spending my twilight years with, is getting married to a Vietnamese missionary. I was very exhausted at the time and promptly fell asleep after reading it. The thing never entered my mind again till late afternoon when things were slowing down. I was catching up on my sleep when the message crossed my mind again like a nasty popup ad.
Suffice to say it all felt unreal. I'm not hurt and neither am I fine with all this. From that moment the question "Have I missed out my one chance for happiness?" What if she's the one I was supposed to marry? That because of my being a complete wuss I missed out on THE one? These two self-defeating questions were thrown out when I thought of the utter ludicrousness of it all. Later, a friend of mine bopped me over the head during dinner and asked me what's gotten into me (not in so many words). She told I have things going for me and I need to realize that. We discussed a couple more issues and she added some suggestions and advice that left me feeling real good about myself. Which also brought to mind an advice my best friend from college gave me, "To find the one, you have BE the ONE!" Good advice... Wonder why it sunk only now.
Suffice to say it all felt unreal. I'm not hurt and neither am I fine with all this. From that moment the question "Have I missed out my one chance for happiness?" What if she's the one I was supposed to marry? That because of my being a complete wuss I missed out on THE one? These two self-defeating questions were thrown out when I thought of the utter ludicrousness of it all. Later, a friend of mine bopped me over the head during dinner and asked me what's gotten into me (not in so many words). She told I have things going for me and I need to realize that. We discussed a couple more issues and she added some suggestions and advice that left me feeling real good about myself. Which also brought to mind an advice my best friend from college gave me, "To find the one, you have BE the ONE!" Good advice... Wonder why it sunk only now.
@ 10:36 PM ---> 
