There. I've finished the strip for submission. I'm not happy with the way it turned out as it happened. The thing with me these days is that I'm a lot too careful with doing things. Whereas before I would be attacking the paper with reckless abandon, eager to see what I would come up with to surprise myself these days I would pause and consider and reconsider what it is I'm going to do. Instead of putting my ideas to paper right there and then I hesitate and redo everything in my head. Or mostly reedit everything while it's still in the air thereby scattering those ideas and leaving me with nothing much to grasp and put into paper. The idea of taking risks is so alien to me these days I look back in my life some two or three years ago and realize that it wasn't always that way. I took risks. I considered what it was I was supposed to do, at least for a while to convince myself that it was safe and jump right in. I don't know when this whole thing started. All I know is that I take a lot of time considering things that by the time I need to take action the enthusiasm is already gone and the fresh ideas have already become stale. Like in doing the dialogue I would most often times criticize myself for not coming up with a good one and then the deadline comes and I'm forced to write something halfwit and not entirely funny. There may be times when I look back and read what it is I've submitted and surprise myself that it works but I still couldn't bear to live with it because the art sucks. It was done in a hurry and doing things in a hurry doesn't appeal to me at all. I guess I'll be adding this one to the ever growing list of strips to redo in the future. In the meantime I've still got one strip I've yet to do. The thing that bothers me with this one is that there is no deadline thereby prolonging my agony over it.
The things we inflict on ourselves for the sake of art.