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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Still in the process of looking for that perfect yellow lab retriever, I'm studying everything I can about the breed including puppy temperament tests and recognizing reputable breeders from backyard breeders (BYB). Those coming from reputable breeders costs twice as much as those from small breeders not necessarily BYBs but I'm not looking to put them on show or offer them as studs what's important for me is that the dam and sire look as close as possible to my ideal. I'm set to visit a small kennel later this afternoon to check his puppies, in the meantime why don't y'all get a good chuckle from this humorous pieces I got from a local lab forum:

A passenger is sitting in an airliner about to take off, when another man sits next to him with a Labrador Retriever. The passenger looks quizzically at the dog, prompting the second man to explain that they work for the airline. "Don't mind Sniffer. He's a sniffing dog, the best there is. Once we get airborne, I'll I put him to work."

After the plane takes off, the handler says, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Sniffer, search!". Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm.

The handler says, "Good boy," then turns to the passenger. "That woman is in possession of marijuana," he says, writing something in his pad.

Once again he sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the handler's arm. The handler says, "That man is carrying cocaine." Once again, he makes a note in his pad.

A third time the handler sends Sniffer to search the aisles. Sniffer goes up and down the plane and sits down next to someone. After a second, it comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat and craps everywhere.

The passenger is grossed out by this behaviour from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, "What's going on?"

The handler nervously replies, "He just found a bomb!"


* * *

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful Labrador along for company. One day, the Labrador starts chasing butterflies and before long the Labrador discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The Labrador thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!"

Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the Labrador exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That Labrador nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree and figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the Labrador sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the Labrador sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet...and just when they get close enough to hear, the Labrador says........"Where's that d**n monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

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